


Cheesy Chocolate Kiss

by Azu_Winter



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-13
Updated: 2016-09-13
Packaged: 2018-08-14 20:45:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8028346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azu_Winter/pseuds/Azu_Winter
Summary: Taeyong can’t sleep before eating chocolate. Ten can’t sleep before kissing someone or being kissed by someone.





	Cheesy Chocolate Kiss

Despite had been roommates since the freshman year, there’s a secret Taeyong had not known about Ten. They’re close, but not too close to be called best friend.

Talking about best friend, Taeyong realized he had no one. If you could consider a dog as a best friend, then maybe Ruby is Taeyong’s best friend.

Taeyong always built a high and thick wall around himself, anytime and anywhere. He found it difficult, being close and intimate with people. He was afraid. Afraid what if people turn their backs at him once they found out his flaws. He thought it’s better to only show people his surface, his façade, and only kept his heart, his fears, his real feeling on anything just by himself. Let people just saw him as the flawless and heartless Lee Taeyong. It was better than letting people had the upper hand to hurt him.

Taeyong was hurt before. A lot.

He showed his bared self to his family, but what he got was only the disgust look, the hurtful screaming, and the direct rejection.

He loved his family a lot. He wanted to be true with them. To be himself. To show them all of him, no need to pretending and hiding behind the perfect façade. He wanted his family receiving him as him. He wanted his family embracing him as a whole, not just praising him when he pretends to be the perfect son in his parent eyes, not just accepting him when he hides his true feeling on everything in front of them.

Taeyong wanted his family to understand him that sometimes it’s okay for him to shed a tear, being weak, and lean on someone in this world that full of the fires of hell.

Taeyong wanted his parent to see him as a human being, as their son, not as just the robot who should’ve meet all of their dreams and expectations, forgetting that he himself had the dreams and hopes about his future as well.

For Taeyong, shedding a tear in front of other people is a shame. His father taught him in a hard way of the consequences of crying and being weak.

But that night, Ten saw Taeyong crying after receiving the call from his parent. As usual, instructed him, demanding him to pursue his goal – which is actually his parent’s goal. Being a doctor had never been his choice. He never had a choice even for just once in his life. Everything in his life had been decided. His future had been planned systematically and precisely by his parents. They never wanted to know about his struggle in fulfilling their wishes. They never reached out their hands to make him safe, to make him feel loved, and to make him believe that he is not alone in his darkest time.

For the first time in his life, there’s someone who embraced him when he cried, and even cried along with him.

Taeyong tried to push Ten away of him, but the black haired boy only tightened his arms around Taeyong. His warm tears were streaming down his face, then making Taeyong’s shirt wet. This feeling was really strange for Taeyong. He never let someone see him crying, moreover had someone crying in his arms like this.

“Ten, why are you crying? Did your parents scold you too because your GPA is below their expectation and told you to stay at the dorm during the summer holiday to study without sparing a little bit of their concern as to why you failed fulfilling their wishes? Did they calling you name as well? And telling you they’re ashamed to have a son like you?” Taeyong was bombarding Ten those questions in one breath.

Ten sniffled as buried his face on the crook of Taeyong’s neck, making Taeyong’s body shiver because of the younger’s tears and breathe against his skin. “I’m crying because you’re crying, hyung. It’s my first time seeing you crying after 1,5 year being your roommate. You’re always appears tough, even tougher than a steel. I’m just… I don’t know. Seeing you like this strangely pain my heart.”

Taeyong pulled away, then stared at Ten’s puffy eyes. He never expected the silly but heartwarming answer like that. He wiped his own tears then gave Ten the little smile. “I’m alright.”

Ten shook his head. “You’re not alright.”

Taeyong shut his mouth. He couldn’t say anything. Not when Ten looking up at him with his deer sparkling orbs like this while curling his tiny fingers on Taeyong’s shirt. Ten is a beauty. Taeyong could never deny it. Ever since the first time he laid his eyes on Ten, Taeyong always acknowledges it although he never said it out loud.

“I know you’re still not ready to tell me anything.” Ten talked again, snapping Taeyong out of his own mind. “But you know I’m always here, right?”

“Of course, because you’re my roommate.” Taeyong said, almost robotic, showing no emotions.

Ten heaved a deep sigh. Ten had no idea why he hates it whenever the elder builds the wall around himself so nobody could touch his heart and share his pain.

“I’ll become your wall, hyung. You can tell me anything, and I could stay still like a wall without giving you an earful, without spilling out whatever you say to the world outside of us. It’s just between you and me. Just like how you always keep everything by yourself, protected and hidden behind the invisible walls around you. Let me become those walls. I could protect you too.”

Taeyong had never received a weird offer from anyone like that before. And to be honest, Taeyong felt Ten’s offer is so cringeworthy. He had been restraining himself from smiling, but he couldn’t hold it in anymore.

“Never thought you’re capable saying those poetic words. You should’ve majoring in literature than architecture.”

Ten shrugged. The wide happy grin plastered on his face. “So, cool? You’ll let me become your wall?”

“I maybe will throw the knife, the fire, and the wave to my wall. It’s nothing compared to this silly tear.” Taeyong’s right eyebrow rose.

“It’s alright. As long as you let me become your wall, and see you behind this façade.”

Maybe that’s one of the reasons why Taeyong feel comfortable around Ten. And why he let his guard down around the younger. Because Ten accepted his flaws. Ten chose to see the real Lee Taeyong.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ********* ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Ten is a bright and bubbly boy. His charming eyes and smile could light the darkness around him anywhere he goes. He is the definition of the happy soul.

But people often forgets that nobody in this world always feel happy in his entire life. People often couldn’t catch a glimpse of the sadness behind the smile.

Or maybe they know, but choose pretending to not see it. They never bother offering their hands to help, or even ask “What’s bothering you? What makes you smiling brightly like that even though in my eyes you appear like the saddest person alive?”

People think someone who always appears happy is truly feels the happiness inside him. Or maybe they know how miserable he feels, but too selfish to ask him to share the pain.

Ten is a carefree and a fearless boy, but it doesn’t mean he had never broken.

Ten had been waiting for someone who could see his shattered soul. Ten had been waiting for someone who’s brave enough to involve himself deeper, to understand Ten better, to see the ugly scars inside his heart, and walk with him hand by hand through his hell, never letting him go even though the world below their feet is filled with the scary flames, and the sky above them is only the absolute darkness – the nothingness.

Ten wanted to meet someone who could accept him as him. Not someone else. Not someone in their imagination. And certainly who’s not fooled by his mesmerizing but wounded smile.

Ten wanted to meet someone who could accept his rotten heart but still think that he is the most beautiful person on this earth. Ten wanted someone who loves him behind his perfect skin.

Ten knew, he had been deluding himself. His expectation is too high. There isn’t someone out there who would embrace him if they knew what kind of person he actually is.

People attracted by his beauty. But they only love his beauty. They ran away as soon as they found out his dark past.

Ten had sworn to become Taeyong’s wall. But he had no idea since when they had been each other’s wall. They protect each other. They keep each other’s secrets between them. And they pull off their façade, being naked from all of the pretenses.

“I was 7 when my parents sold me to the rich old man.” Ten looked at the ceiling, had been lay side by side with Taeyong since an hour ago, doing the usual talks. Talking about anything bothering each other that day, or maybe about their past experiences and memories that kept resurfacing and made them scared.

“He was so abusive, treated me worse than a dog. Then someday I lost it. I couldn’t think of anything aside of running away of him. But he caged me, threatened me to kill me. And in the end it’s me who killed him when he tried to choke me to death. I hate him. But I could never forget how it feels when his blood stained my hands. My family hated me, afraid of me when the police sent me back to them. They’re afraid I would tip toeing in the night and stabbed them from behind like what I had done to the man who bought me. I was always unwanted. They rather sent me to the mental hospital than gave me the love I needed from the family. At the age of 13, a famous and rich actress adopted me because of my physical appearance. She never loved me though, only treated me as her dolls, showing me off everywhere at her socialite gatherings. My family lived with the money the lady gave, and kept leech on me to fulfill their thirst over the wealth. The lady taught me how to act well. I could smile even though I’m sad. She was the great actress, inherit me her great acting skill, and also her wealth when she passed away because of her illness. My parents framed me, saying that I killed the lady like how I killed the rich old man. I was so naïve back then. I let my parents control the inheritance to let me off of the framed. I couldn’t fight. I’ve been become a model since the age of 17 until now. I could go to college thanks to my body and face. I have a lot of sponsors. You’d feel disgusted if you knew what I’ve been doing with my sponsors.”

Taeyong touched Ten’s hand, brought it closer to his chest, so the younger could feel Taeyong’s heartbeat under his palm. Ten turned his head, looking at Taeyong, smiling as usual. But Taeyong knew too well, Ten was crying inside.

No matter how many times they had shared their stories, Ten still not used to take off his artificial smile. It looks convincing to other, but to Taeyong the smile is the form of the silent request for help.

Taeyong stroked Ten’s back hand with his thumb. “If I asked you to stop meeting the sponsors, would you do it?”

Ten shook his head. “They’re never forcing me. It’s me who seek for their attention, and their money. I know they never love me but my body. But at least I feel wanted. I feel loved. Even though the love is only the form of my hallucination.”

“You deserve better, Ten.”

“I deserve nothing.” Ten whispered. “I’m tainted. I’m broken. I had killed someone…”

“But you wish someone could accept you.”

Ten nodded, smiling wide, but the hot tears streaming down his face. “I do. But I know no one will. I’ve tried it hyung, many times, but nobody accepted me.”

Taeyong brought Ten closer to him, so he could enveloped the younger’s petite body with a warm hug. “Someone will. Maybe not at this present time, but someone will, later, when the time has come.”

‘Could be that someone is you, hyung? I want you, but I know I don’t deserve you.’ Ten said it silently inside his head.

‘I could be that someone, Ten. But I’m afraid I’ll make you hurt more. I’m just a broken soul, just like you. You need someone brighter than me.’ Taeyong said it silently inside his head.

At that time, Taeyong never knew that Ten didn’t need someone as bright as the sun. He only needed someone who can make him safe, and protect him from the hurricane inside his heart, just like how Taeyong did to him.

At that time, Ten never knew that Taeyong felt the same.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ *********** ~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Taeyong had no idea since when he felt empty whenever he didn’t see Ten right before he closed his eyes and drifted to a dreamland. It’s not like the younger always came back home before midnight. Being wasted, like usual. But now Taeyong wanted to see Ten before he sleep.

Taeyong was scared of what he felt inside. It was a new experience for him. He never wanted anyone before as much as he wanted Ten at this moment. Just for himself. He wanted to be selfish just for this once.

“Where have you been?” Taeyong’s voice was hoarse, asking Ten right after the younger plopped himself down to his own bed on the lower bunk.

“Haven’t I told you? I can’t sleep before kissing someone, or being kissed by someone.” Ten mumbled. His eyes closed. He didn’t realize it when Taeyong climbed down and plopped himself down besides Ten.

Ten’s eyes fluttered opened in full of shocked when he felt Taeyong’s warm lips brushed his lips in a gentle kiss.

“I’ll kiss you every night before sleeping. So, I want you stop playing and sleeping around.”

“Why?” Ten’s eyes were piercing through Taeyong’s soul.

Taeyong didn’t say anything. He got lost in Ten’s eyes.

Ten smirked. “Do you want to sleep with me too?”

“What if I do? What if I ask you to stop meeting your sponsors? What if I give you the money?”

The hurt gaze flashed in Ten’s eyes for a brief moment. “So you want to monopolize me? By being my only sponsor?”

‘I want to become your boyfriend, but will you accept me?’ Taeyong only said it in his head.

“Do you want me to become your sponsor?” Taeyong asked Ten back.

“If you want, it’s cool with me. But my life style is high.”

“I can manage.” Taeyong said in a monotonous voice.

Ten smiled to hide his aching heart. “Alright then. I’ll cut all my ties off with my sponsors. I expect to see how thick the money on my wallet tomorrow morning. And I want the new car as a welcome gift.”

‘I only want your love, hyung.’ Ten whispered inside his heart.

But of course Taeyong couldn’t read Ten’s heart. The grey haired boy nodded. “Alright.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ********* ~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Ten and Taeyong kept their promise. In the next morning, Ten received the car and the money. He had cut off his connection with his previous sponsors as well.

Since that day, Taeyong kissed Ten deeply, fully on the lips every night before going to sleep. But the gray haired boy never did anything more than the kisses.

Despite the weird and complicated relationship between them, Ten liked how Taeyong treated him. As if the elder was his boyfriend and not only the sponsor who only wants Ten’s body.

But Taeyong never asked for Ten’s body.

It’s scaring Ten, how his hopes pampering him, giving him the delusional thoughts of the possibility. 'Taeyong would never love me back!' Ten always reminding himself repeatedly, but his heart was so stubborn by giving him the false hope.

Taeyong only kissed Ten during the night, right before sleeping, just because Ten had said that he couldn’t sleep before kissing someone or being kissed by someone. It’s as if the elder care of Ten.

On their 29th day, Ten asked Taeyong bravely, too frustrated wondering everything by himself. It’s torturing him, wanting something and someone who clearly stating that he only wants Ten’s body, but never once touched Ten in inappropriate way, and only pampered him with the kisses just so he could sleep in the night, because his rotten heart deluding himself that he was loved and wanted by someone.

“Taeyong hyung, why do I feel like you care for me?”

“Because I care of you.” Taeyong stroked Ten’s hair. They shared the lower bed, as usual. They had been doing it since almost a month.

“My delusional wish is wishing you to love me. I have the false hope about your feeling towards me.” Ten buried his face on Taeyong’s chest.

Taeyong wrapped his arm around Ten, so tight, making Ten afraid. Afraid what if after this tight hug, Taeyong would push him away, telling him to fuck off.

“What if I love you? Would you love me back?” Tayeong’s voice was deep. He was hiding his fear by resting his chin on the top of Ten’s head. He didn’t want Ten see his shaking eyes.

Ten entangled their legs. “I always want you to love me someday, hyung. To accept me. To guide me to be a better man. But I know very well I don’t deserve you.”

Taeyong pulled the hug away, just like what Ten feared, but his gentle gaze was trapping Ten inside, melting Ten’s frozen heart.

“I’ve been accepting you since you cried with me that day, Ten. I’ve been loving you since we regularly talked to each other, sharing our fears and dreams. But I never have the courage to ask you to be mine, so I said I want to be your sponsor instead. I want you to be mine. Not as the property. But as a being. Someone I love with every fiber inside my body. Someone I cherish wholeheartedly. I don’t have the courage to make you happy all the times. And I’m not sure if you will be happy with me. I’m a broken mess. I’m even still not sure with my future. My wealth? It’s not mine but my parents. I’m afraid if you’d stay with or leave me when someday I decide to be independent from my parents. Someday, if I have collected the enough braveness, to speak out of what I’ve always been wanting to say to my parents.”

Ten caressed Taeyong’s soft cheek with his long fingers. “Do you love me, hyung?”

Taeyong nodded. “I love you, Ten.” Taeyong’s voice when he said those words was full of reverence.

Ten smiled. The genuine one. “Then it’s enough. I don’t want anything in this world but someone who accepts me and loves me, all of me, including my faults and my flaws.”

Taeyong pulled Ten closer, embracing him again, tighter, and with a silent vow : no matter what happen in the future, Taeyong would never let Ten go away of him.

Taeyong was too happy that night. He forgot to kiss Ten’s lips like what he had done everynight. But Ten could sleep easily that night even without the kiss. Because what’s exactly Ten needed is not a kiss, but the affection, and the love.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ************ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Taeyong couldn’t sleep without eating the chocolate first, then brushing his teeth. Ten knew it. But just like Ten who could sleep without kissing or getting kissed, Taeyong could sleep without eating the chocolate now.

It’s not about the thing but the feeling.

Taeyong was always craving for the chocolate because it made him calm, relaxed, and happy. Chocolate was his escape, his method to flight of his real feelings, because the teobromine inside it gave him the temporary happiness.

Ten was always searching for the attention, the affection, the empathy, and the love from anyone by using his flawless face and body. It’s not only all about the kiss and the sex. He yearned for the feeling. And now he had gotten it from Taeyong.

Now, Ten could drift into a deep sleep in a blink of eyes without anyone touching him. Because he felt safe. He felt loved.

Taeyong still gave Ten the goodnight kisses though. And these days, the kisses not only during the night, but anytime they wanted it.

Life is not perfect, and nobody does. But everyone could find the happiness, the true one, if they’re brave enough to welcome it into their heart, as well as embracing the fears and the sadness. Because life is not all about the happy things. We couldn’t be happy all the times.

We only need someone who’s willing to walk through our hell together, and not only stay with us during the happy times.

Just like how Ten needs Taeyong. Just like how Taeyong needs Ten.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ********* ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

It’s their 3rd month anniversary since they became the couple, one night, Ten asked Taeyong playfully. “Hyung, do you want chocolate? You used to addicted to it before. Just like how I addicted to the kiss.”

Taeyong let out a soft chuckle as ruffled Ten’s hair affectionately. “Don’t you think the chocolate would taste better with the kiss?” He asked teasingly.

Ten laughed and pinched Taeyong’s nose. “So, you think it’s not gross if I feed you the chocolate mouth to mouth?”

“It’s not gross. I’d love it. Because it’s you, Ten.” Taeyong’s smile was so gentle and heartwarming.

The tears were pooled in Ten’s eyes. “I couldn’t be happier than now, hyung.” He whispered as snuggled to Taeyong’s chest, seeking for more warmth.

“I thought you’d be happier with the chocolate kiss?” Taeyong smiled playfully.

Ten chuckled then pecked Taeyong’s lips. “Let’s do that tomorrow. We don’t have the chocolate now.” Ten said it as tracing the visible veins on Taeyong’s arms with his finger tips.

“But we still could kiss.” Taeyong winked. 

“Cheesy.” Ten rolled his eyes, smiling ear to ear.

“That’s my middle name.”

“I thought chocolate is your middle name, hyung.”

“I’ll change it to chocolate kiss from now on.”

“Hey, it’s my middle name!” Ten hit Taeyong’s chest.

Taeyong tightened the hug. “Let’s make it our family name. I want us having the same family name.”

“Cheesy indeed.” Ten squished both of Taeyong’s cheeks.

“Cheesy. Chocolate. Kiss.” Taeyong said those three words as kissed Ten’s soft rosy lips three times.

Ten smiled. He knew its Taeyong’s new silly code now in saying I Love You.

~~~~~~~~ THE END ~~~~~~~

**Author's Note:**

> Cross-posted at AFF.  
> Thank you for reading! <3


End file.
